Author Archives: Nicole

Late nights and downward slides.

I stayed up late last night. Bad move. I had a friend from college over and we talked until 10:45 or so. I went straight to bed when he left, but I’m paying for the late night now. A couple … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

What if…

Ever since the new therapist essentially told me I was fine and suggested that the reason I feel like crap sometimes is because I expect to, I’ve had this inner struggle.  I’m full of what ifs. What if the reason … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Here we go again

Me: *Looks at watch.  It’s 5:50pm* Did anyone else hear those church bells? Friend: No Me: *Looks at dad* Dad: Nope Me: I swear I heard them, but its strange that they would be at ten till six. Friend: *Joking … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Good Things

Things are happening in my life.  Good things. Things I’ve been waiting for, but were never sure if they would ever come. Right now they are all maybes…but if they are all maybes, something has to come true, right? I’m … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Well this is new….or not

Now that I’ve calmed down after the intensity of rapidly changing to psychiatrists and therapists who somewhat challenged what I believed about my mental health, something weird has happened. I feel OK.  I don’t see myself as “sick.” I’m not … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Yup, I’m angry. 

I am angry. My Facebook friends have started posting all kinds of articles about mental illness. Anxiety. Depression. Postpartum depression. Totally legit and accurate articles. But it makes me angry. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good that people are talking … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Labels Matter

In the whole 3 days since I was told I may have schizoaffective disorder, I’ve put in some long, hard thought about labels and diagnosis. Everyone except one person has told me that labels don’t matter, and it doesn’t matter … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The name game and firing your psychiatrist.

Every single psychologist, therapist, and psychiatrist I’ve seen has had a different opinion as to what is going on with my brain. Including the psychiatrist I saw yesterday. The running list so far: Anxiety Depression Nothing (this one makes me … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Mental Gymnastics

Every now and then I get it in my head that I’m not really bipolar…that I don’t really have a mental illness.  There’s two way this manifests itself. I don’t believe I need therapy anymore.  I believe my symptoms went … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Damn Worksheets

I’m doing that fun thing where you have to get to know a brand new therapist. I’m proud of myself for being able to sit down and be up front and honest about my symptoms without putting it off or … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment