Things and stuff

  1. No one has ever asked me if I was married. Except this week. Four people asked me in two days. And no, they were not eligible guys. When I say no there is this awkward silence.
  2. My therapist poked all the right buttons today to dredge up the fact that I feel bad about being single. Thanks man.
  3. I’ve been exceptionally ok these past few weeks because I haven’t had the time to not be ok. As work winds down I’ll be running head on into a brick wall. Prepare for the crash. Just sayin’.
  4. The community band I’m in is playing at the state mental health hospital.
  5. I’m frustrated and angry with and jealous of just about everyone. As things calm down at work and I’m not working 60 hour weeks anymore, I’ll just become bitter.
  6. I’m afraid I’ll take that anger out on myself.
  7. Everything and everyone makes me feel bad about myself. All I can see is everything that isn’t.
  8. Giving myself 30 seconds to think makes me realize I’m not as ok as I thought I was. Dark thoughts are lurking in the corners.

Dammit.

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