I was supposed to have an appointment last night to completely reevaluate my meds.
I got a text from my nurse practioner at 7:30am telling me she has to cancel. Again. She cancels more often than not. In the year and a half that I’ve been seeing her there has probably been a handful of times she hasn’t cancelled on me. I was upset. Then I took thirty seconds and thought it through.
This woman is not reliable. She waits until the last minute to get me meds. Then I have to pick them up at various locations because she cancelled on me. We are at the point where she’s not sure what to do with me. I find out from my mom that because she is a nurse practitioner I’m supposed to be seen every so many months by an actual psychiatrist. I’m not. The last couple times she’s changed my meds its happened so quickly I’m not sure if the meds have had time to work. She has me on two different drugs that are new that insurance won’t cover so I have to live off samples.
After thinking this through I was pissed. Why the hell was I still seeing this woman?
I texted my therapist what happened and told her I was done seeing this lady and I’m finding a new one. She supports my decision.
I then called my mom and asked her to find someone for me because I had to go to work. (Also finding doctors is like my moms superpower. She apparently had to make approximately 20 phone calls to find someone. If I were not stable-ish and had to do that myself…..how could I? )
What I want to do is tell my nurse practitioner I’m done, get enough samples to last me until I can get an appointment with this doctor, and hope my stubborn side can save my ass while I wait. I am most definitely not doing any other med changes with this woman.
In the meantime I’m going to refine my symptom tracker, and make a list of all the medications I’ve tried, why I was put on them and why they were discontinued. I can remember probably 95% of them. Then when I finally get an appointment I can just hand the doctor my notes.
So there you have it. The next chapter in my mental health saga.