A couple days ago my mom called me and asked if I was interested in a relationship. Apparently a family friend found someone and they want me to meet him. I said sure and they got me his number.
My initial thought was to wait until I felt a little better and was able to get out of my head. But then I realized I felt a twinge of excitement at the prospect of this date. I figure it’s in my best interest at this point to grab ahold of anything positive to look forward to and run with it. It makes it a little hard to make plans to off yourself when you have things that you are looking forward to. I also set up a meeting with an organization to help me advance in my career in the midst of feeling like shit.
These two things give me something to focus on. I’ve come to realize that knowing people expect me to be somewhere or do something keeps me on track. In spite of everything I don’t want to let people down or put someone in a difficult situation. Knowing people rely on me saves my ass more times that I can count. That also means when I stop caring about that I’m in a really, really bad place.
So what am I going to do? Call this guy and focus my energies on planning for this work meeting. It might pull me out of my head far enough that I can get to a safe space. As they say, fake it till you make it.