I’m talking to this guy. We haven’t officially met yet, but we are talking. So far so good. Last night we were texting when the announcement came on TV about Syria. I told him because I thought he’d want to know and I knew he wasn’t watching TV. He mentioned he was going to wait to hear what Trump had to say. I wanted to, but knew that if I stayed up late I would regret it. He knows that I go to bed kinda early and asked if I was going to stay up. He also knows that I don’t get up at some ridiculous time. In short, if he did the math he’d know that I sleep 10-11 hours a night. That’s not normal. I had a couple options to respond:
- Say nothing. That’s rude.
- Say I was going to stay up and then go to bed anyways. That’s a lie.
- Say I was going to bed and appear that I don’t care. That’s a lie.
- Tell the truth. I’m going to bed because if I don’t sleep I get sick.
I settled on the truth. Lies make me uncomfortable. It’s OK if its a acquaintance or coworker or a friend that I’m not that close with. But not with someone I’m trying to build a relationship with. If I start with all of these little lies, there is that much more I have to explain if we get as far as me telling him I have bipolar.
I encounter these little moments all the time. For instance, drinking. When offered a drink I have to say no. I never really drank in the first place, but now I can’t. Do I say I don’t drink, or can’t drink? Do I go out for “drinks” and then have a coke instead? Do I use the excuse that if I’m driving I won’t drink? (which is true, I always refused to drink if I was the one driving; I’d prefer to not take my chances.) Eventually though, you run out of excuses, especially if you walked somewhere and the polite thing to do is have a drink, or they don’t have water or something else to drink (I swear I’ve had this happen). Or if you are with pushy people you don’t know well.
Bottom line is when things come up like this, do I tell the truth? Or do I bend the truth a little bit? I hate coming up with excuses. It makes me feel like an antisocial liar. These things I do or don’t do, its because I have no choice. I don’t want to live like this, I have to live like this. I hate having to hide that chunk of my life.