Dear Self

You are tired.  You are stressed out. You’re angry.

I know.

It breaks my heart to see you so bitter. You weren’t always like this.  In fact, a year ago, things were different.  Those memories that pop up on Facebook….you still loved your job and some things even made you excited in spite of your depression. You took on challenges with determination and you did what you needed to do. You were still you, even if the illness was slowly sucking the life out of you.

Then the bottom slowly fell out. You lost the ability to care. Your get up and go got up and left. You are phoning it in–doing the bare minimum to get by. It’s been subtle, but thorough.

Now, a year later, you are miserable. You are not proud of what you have done. You are cynical. You’ve lost sight of what you are capable of. There has been a definitive negative shift in your thinking.

So why am I telling you this?  Why am I reminding you of everything you are not?

Because you are tired.  You are stressed out. You’re angry.

I’m not going to tell you that you’ve been here before, because you haven’t.  This is a new kind of depression to you. It’s a hurt so deep that any reminder of who you once were makes you cry.  It’s a kind of depression you can’t find the words to describe.

Please don’t give up.  Don’t surrender to the nonsense in your head.

You are tired. You are stressed.  You are angry.

But you are not hopeless.

 

 

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s