Last night I pulled out my journal. I had lots of things running through my head, so I wanted to make a list.
A list of reasons why I should give up.
So I grabbed my pen, pulled out my journal, and was preparing to turn myself over to the ugly in my head. Then I opened the front cover and saw the post-it note I stuck there over a year ago.
I promise myself, no mater how bad things get, I will not take my own life. I have worked too hard to get where I am. I will not let the noise in my head win. The bad thoughts will go away. It may be days, weeks, months, or even years until it does. But it will go away.
I’m stronger than this.
Damn. Past-me was onto something when I wrote that. Pissed me off though. I wanted to sit and wallow in my misery, but the note pulled me out of it. I guess that’s kinda the point.