I know we don’t talk much anymore, but I need you now. You see, I’m not doing well. I’m coping by not coping. I’m reverting back to bad habits. I’m not sleeping. I’m not concentrating.
But you don’t need to know all of that.
You just need to know that I’m not doing well and could use a friend.
Your wondering what you could possibly do. Or what you could possibly say. Here I’ll tell you.
Say “I’m sorry your struggling” and give me a hug. And be OK if I start to cry. Offer to just be with me. Make dinner with me or offer to do my laundry with me. I know that sounds dumb, but that giant pile of laundry is just sitting there being overwhelming and reminding me that I can’t get my act together. I need help doing things I can’t do myself. I don’t need them done for me, just help with them.
You don’t have to talk about it. You don’t have to come up with ways I could cope. You don’t have to understand my diagnosis. I have a therapist for that. I need a friend. I need some time where I’m not alone and I don’t have to pretend everything is alright.
So please, if you can, be that friend. It’s OK if you don’t understand or know quite what to say. Just be there.