I never used my vacation days this year so I tacked them on to my Christmas break and ended up with two and a half weeks off. Initially, I almost wished I hadn’t done that. Unstructured time off can be my enemy. But now I’m thinking its a good idea.
My symptoms started acting up a few weeks ago and they may be getting worse. I think. Its hard to tell when one of your symptoms is thinking nothing is wrong. What I do know is that I’m starting to be uncertain of how I feel. I’m restless. I’m starting to think that people hate me when there is no reason. The negative loop in my head is back. Once 6 o’clock hits, I’m impatiently waiting for bedtime even if I’m not tired. I just want to curl up in bed and lay there. Even thinking about hanging around people for more than an hour exhausts me.
That is why I’m thinking that this time off may be good for me. I can deal with all that crap without the stress of keeping up appearances at work. It sucks that I can’t have a symptom free break for once in my life, but maybe I can spend a little more time managing all of this, so that when I do have to go back in a couple weeks I can have a reasonably clear head.