the ugly bits

As much as I’d love to say I’ve got my shit together now, I don’t.

Anxiety is kicking my ass and for whatever reason my brain is telling me that I can’t do what I have to do at work tomorrow, never mind I’ve done it approximately 22362 times since last May. I sat on my floor crying and playing solitaire in an attempt to distract myself.  Sexy, right? It didn’t work, btw.

As I travel down this unfortunately well worn road (in my world, anxiety is like the gateway drug for everything else), I’m trying to figure out what put me here in the hopes that it will stop this.  And I can come up with reasons-mainly disruption of schedule, anticipated or actual– but they aren’t slowing anything down. I’m simply watching the oncoming train and waiting for it to hit me.

So I’m just going to sit here and wait and hope the storm isn’t too bad this time.

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5 Responses to the ugly bits

  1. MakeItUltra™ says:

    hang in there!

  2. Becky Bee says:

    I’ve been feeling this way too… and I am so sorry you are going through it, but know your honesty is helping others. Me, for one. At least.

    • Nicole says:

      Good to hear…not that you also feel like crap, but that its helping you. I never realized how…..necessary…. it is to find people in the same situation. It makes the difficult times more manageable to know you aren’t the only one. I don’t know how I made it on my own for so long.

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