Restless

Yesterday, I found myself looking at job listings.

Wait, I love my job, right? This is the job I’ve been waiting for the past 6 years. This is the job that lets me use all those skills I’ve collected over the years.  This is the job that is supposed to let me develop those skills so I can make a difference. This is the job that I’m supposed to stick with for at least 5 years so I will have the experience and stats so that I eventually can have a job  that pays a little bit more.

I’ve been in this position a year and a week and here I am dreaming of a new job.

I’m restless.  I always get restless.  I was a year into subbing and I was restless.  I felt trapped for another two years until I started grad school.  I lasted one semester in grad school before I was restless and wanted out. I was frustrated for the remainder of school.  My consolation was working towards this job. And now I want something different.

I want nothing more than to be in a position where I feel like I belong, where I feel like I’m challenged, and I know enough to be considered an expert.  But I never want to stick around long enough to get to that point.  I never seem to be able to dedicate myself to something long enough to get to that point.

I asked someone how you know when its time to leave a job the other day, and he told me that when you feel like you can’t grow in your position any more. How can I be there already? Or am I just bored?

Or is the grass simply greener on the other side?

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2 Responses to Restless

  1. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I think I want out of my LIFE, so doing whatever can drastically change my life seems like the best option (even if it’s not my job that’s causing my pain…it’s my bipolar disorder. I just want things to be different). I’ve found rash decisions are usually dumb, so make sure you’re not trying to run away from something that’s going to follow you (like your brain). If you’ve honestly found a better job and are ready to move on, then maybe that’s something to consider.

    • I pretty good with not making rash decisions. But I totally hear you on wanting out of my life. I think that’s where I’m at. Getting rid of this medication induced fog will do loads to help.

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