Why don’t they go away?!?

Relationships are difficult for me. I struggle to find them, and I struggle to keep them.  I know this and accept this.  What I don’t understand is why won’t these guys go away?

Over the past 4-ish years I have dated 5 different guys (not at the same time). 1 fell off of the face of the earth. The other 4 keep cropping up everywhere. And I’m not talking like they just happen to pass them in the cereal aisle at the grocery store.

Guy number 1: Younger than me.  Same interests.  We actually worked together for a while (and in the interest of full disclosure, I was his supervisor.  Stupid. I know. Still don’t know what I was thinking.) I left that job and went to grad school, fully intending to never see/speak to him again. He is now going to be attending my grad program, and my professor suggested he do an internship with me. Yeah. Shut that one down.  He’s also working in the same field so I run into him every so often. He was the one who told me there was something wrong with me when we broke up.  I am civil to him.  That is it.

Guy number 2: Older than me.  Works in the same field as I do, though I didn’t have a job yet when I saw him. We stopped seeing each other after a month or two.  I then got a job, in the same county as him, and I see him All. The. Time. at functions and meetings. Did I mention he is also currently dating my sister?  Honestly this one sounds bad, but its just funny now. We have a good working relationship.

Guy number 3: Dated the summer after I graduated grad school.  I stopped it because 1. it wasn’t working and 2. that was when my brain really decided to go batshit crazy on me. Every so often he tries to talk to me. Today, I get a text from him asking if it would be weird if he came to one of the events I’m running at work. I’m a professional.  I don’t play dirty.  So I told him he can do what he wants.  But really, if you have to ask, do you really think its a good idea?

Guy number 4: Dated him during grad school for a few months.  We got on really well. I stopped seeing him because…well…that’s apparently what I do.  Every now and then I’ll get an e-mail or text from him.  We started talking more over the past month.  I’ll probably see him in the next few weeks.  Even as I write that it sounds like a bad idea…..

How do these things happen?

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One Response to Why don’t they go away?!?

  1. Ugh…I had a quasi-fling this summer with the guy I wrote about in my post on hypomania (I called him J). J keeps popping up in my life, kind of how these guys keep popping up in yours. He e-mailed me for a while, but I told him I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. Then he kept contacting me (even though I ignored him), so my HUSBAND contacted him and told him to leave me alone. Just last week (EIGHT MONTHS after the summer), he texted me again. Now my husband wants to contact his fiancee and tell her what’s up. I don’t want the drama. I say I’m ignoring him, so what’s the big deal? But yeah…amazing how even short relationships have a tendency to follow you far after you wanted them to. I hate it. Good luck with these guys. :-/

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