A few thoughts.

  1.  I broke down and made a twitter account.  I know I know, I was being all noble and said I wouldn’t do it until I could openly talk about mental illness.  And then I was asked to be directly involved with emerging movement in my field, which requires a professional social media presence and some serious idea networking.   Hence, the twitter account.  I’m not going to lie, the way people use it professionally is really neat.  Not to mention I love being able to advocate for something I believe in that I can attach my name to without fear.  There is something so satisfying about that.
  2. I know I always say I have rapid cycling bipolar.  But since I went off the last med…..holy shit!  This gives rapid cycling a new meaning.  Its almost completely debilitating and working on a normal schedule is almost impossible.  I start a new med on Monday. Hopefully that will get my brain to chill out and I can get caught up at work.
  3. I constantly forget that I have severe anxiety until my therapist reminds me.  We have a conversation and she’ll end it with “Don’t forget to manage the anxiety.”  Only then do I remember that its a problem and do something about it.  You would think one would notice severe anxiety, but even if I do, I’m always like, “Oh this isn’t a problem, I’m just overreacting. I’m fine.” Meanwhile, I can’t eat, sleep, or focus on anything and panic attacks are happening All The Time.  Why hello delusional thinking, its nice to see you again.
  4. I’m finally going to let my parents into the loop. They deserve to be there, and it was (mostly) my own screwed up thinking that kept them out.
  5. Being able to shove all this crap in a box and label it a medical problem….it does wonders in making me feel like its something that can be managed.  It took years for me to get to that point, but I’m so glad I’m there.

As shitty as everything is right now, I feel like I’m taking the steps to help myself.

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2 Responses to A few thoughts.

  1. “Being able to shove all this crap in a box and label it a medical problem….it does wonders in making me feel like its something that can be managed.”

    I like that quote. I don’t think I’ve ever considered it that way, but that’s a good way to think about it.

  2. I’m with Hazel. I think I’ll just call this a “medical problem” and hopefully not let it be the focal point of my life 🙂

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