So remember when I posted about 3 weeks ago I felt like a normal, functional human being?
IT HAPPENED AGAIN.
This morning, I woke up on time, with enough time to sit and write this, drink my tea, then shower, and get to work a few minutes early. Once upon a time, before the epic nose dive started approximately 2 years ago, this used to be what I did ALL THE TIME. Even when I taught and had to be at the school at 6am. Because it made me feel better. Since then its been incredibly hard. The past 3 months I’ve been dragging my butt out of bed approximately 15 minutes (or less) before I had to make it through the door and rolling into work at the last possible minute.
When I woke up and I realized I felt rested, I did my usual self inventory to find out what was going on. Did I sleep? Yup. Do I have racing thoughts? Nope. Is there anything in my head that shouldn’t be there? Nope. Am I trying to tell myself that this whole bipolar thing isn’t a thing? Nope. Do I think I have to do everything right now? Nope. Would I be content to sit outside on a deck and watch the birds for a bit (you know, if it wasn’t 27 degrees outside and I had a deck)? Yup. Do I want to get out of bed? YES YES YES.
Guys, this is me. This is the me that I’ve always been. This is the me I’ve been trying to find again for the last two years. Again, its probably not a forever thing, because I’m still trying to sort myself out. BUT IT HAPPENED.
And am I going to savor the moment? Damn straight I am.