3 years and so much change

A week shy of three years ago I was sitting in this same hotel having a mini breakdown because I just found out that my long term sub assignment was going to continue for several additional weeks.  I was having a mini break down because I was making a life choice to change careers and go back to school in a place I didn’t feel like I fit in. I was having a mini breakdown because attending an open house for the masters program I applied to was simply Too Much.

A degree, several life changes, about 5 misdiagnosis and 1 correct diagnosis, papers, sleepless nights, the panic, the fear, the happy moments, the sad moments…all of those things happened in between.  And the tears.  Dear lord the tears and the breakdowns.  Lets not even talk about that.

Tonight, I’m sitting in the same hotel with  my boss, after we finished speaking to a few classes and recruiting interns. I realized, I survived.

I survived.  I more than survived.  I succeeded. Somehow.

Granted, I still struggle to function at times.  Right now the medicine is screwing with me so much that it is next to impossible for me to eat.

But I’m still here.  And I’m successful.  And even though last night I sat stuck on my couch for a good 4 hours, with my mind going to Very Dark Places….I’m still here.

I did what I set out to do in spite of this crazy battle I’m constantly fighting in my head.

I have come a long way….

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