Weeks ago, a friend and I decided to travel out of state to visit a friend in the days after Christmas. I was excited to see my friend and to have a mini-vacation.
Unfortunately, two weeks prior I had a medication change that screwed with me. Severe panic attacks to the point I was starting to be afraid to even go anywhere. I was struggling to get through work, and many days my biggest accomplishment was getting out the door. Cleaning and cooking and all of those things were entirely out of the question.
And as I sat in the middle of my living room floor the day we were supposed to leave, time was quickly running out for me to pull myself together in order to start the trip. I was contemplating calling my friend and backing out. And in the midst of the panic attack from hell, I got mad. This was not going to take my life away from me. I will not let this win.
I forgot. I can be incredibly stubborn when I want to be.
I went through my mental checklist of everything I had intended to do before I left and started to cross things off.
Freeze left over food in the fridge? Nope, I’ll throw it out when I get home.
Put away laundry that has been sitting in the basket for a week? Nope
And I began to realize there was nothing I had to do before I walked out the door. I had packed my things earlier that morning.
I dragged myself up off the floor, made myself a cup of tea (because tea solves everything in my world) and pulled out every trick I could think of to calm myself down.
Once my mind and stomach settled I looked at the clock.
It was time to leave. I grabbed my things and walked out the door.